Sunday, July 13, 2008
i wouldn't want a year full of regrets.
I have had enuf of this. I wouldn't allow my year be ruined just like this. I know it's full of regrets le, and so be it. Regrets are regrets, they are holes in my heart that I can only wish to fill. But there's still more I should look forward to. I reminisce times when I could still dream, when I could still afford to be worry-free. And I know I am envious. Just envious about how other people might have had things done their way. But no I am not jealous. I do have high hopes. But when I know they are uattainable, I might be sad and depressed over it but I'll get over it. I wouldn't allow jealousy to step in.
And I know it's gg to be a tedious task. So stay with me old friend. Stay with me.
humans are defined by how they choose to end things.
i was with you @ 10:29 pm
Monday, July 07, 2008
actually i wanted to start writing to just vent my frustration.
No it's not about a particular event, a particular place or happening. Perhaps you can say it's abt particular persons... but then it's really not about what they did. More about what I had/would never do I guess...
Anw there's quite a lot of factors tat adds up to the frustration. I simply realised (again) that my sorta childhood dream is rather far away from me now... And I'm not sure if I can attain it anymore. It's a weird feeling when you look through old materials, which you have once read with great anticipation, awe and hope, and now you feel nothing near those feelings except disappointment and regret. Reading through them again sorta brought back some old feelings about what I wanted to become, and now when I realised it's now part of a dream so unreal, it's really frustrating when you still want to be what you wanted to be. ok i am not making much sense.
Other than that, I'm frustrated at how incapable I sometimes am at certain things.. Of course what you said might be right, but I lack the initiative for this. It's just too.... difficult now for me to make any move.
And I continue wondering how I would be like from here.
i was with you @ 9:59 pm
