Thursday, June 19, 2008
I promised myself I won't shed another tear for all these again.
Looking back on my half year indeed it has been a nice experience, but not one I have expected though. It's like my plans haven't really been fulfilled and I really doubt they will in the end. For one I know a very specific one will not.
And while digging through the wreakage of the broken dreams you find your once innocent reason for why you wanted that dream and sometimes can't help but let another tear drop from the eye.
And you might say this will build up my willpower and strength? I don't know. I really don't know.
But I know my situation's not that bad. And I'm much better off than many le. So I shouldn't complain anymore...
i was with you @ 9:30 pm
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
i admit i might be running away from my problem.
of course if u were to ask me specifically wad problem i won't tell. probably not here in this open field. but e nature of e problem relates much to the heart rather than e mind so ya... u understand.
i often wonder if me keeping mum is the best way out of this... it seem rather messy to me but probably not to the other party. and probably if i were to say anything it'll trigger a chain reaction (desirable or not is still the question), and I can nv predict what will happen. Of course you may say you'll never know if you don't try but then just getting to the idea of trying itself is already a great hurdle for me to leap over... but i kinda feel that it's going to be a little painful on my part if i don't say it out soon. so ya. here I am, wondering if I am doing the right thing.
Maybe silence is not alway golden. (not necessarily suggesting I'll say it out any time soon)
i was with you @ 9:13 pm
Monday, June 09, 2008
ok i realise i have taken down too little pictures of things around me and all the things that happened in my life so far. not mental ones i mean physical ones.
I was just browsing through some of my old photos and looking at all the things that happened and remembering the good old times. Funny isn't it, we always start cherishing after things has become history...
I cherish all my thoughts and the people around me. Though I'm not too sure if i'm doing a good job for the latter.. Oh well I'll do my best.
And like I said, i realised there's still so much things I can only remember and there being no physical note tat such things happened. Memories do fade sometimes yea? but i don't want these things to be forgotten by myself so yea... I shall take more photos next time. (not like i'm super photogenic but ya)
Haha it's funny how i came to such a easy conclusion after gg such a big round :P
oh well.
i was with you @ 11:07 pm
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The frustration has tone down a little but I'm still rather emotional.
Maybe I have conceived a reality that is too good to be true. Too good to be true. Perhaps I'm never what I thought I am.
And perhaps life has been really kind to me, already.
So what now dear oh destiny, what do you have in stall for me? Is these part of some test that's supposed to make me stronger? Or is it just some time that will pass as quickly as it came? I know I know life will get on from here. There're greater things in life. I'm an optimist too you know...
But then it's quite sad when an optimist finds himself unable to help but feel dejected and demoralised by how things went about. Perhaps he needs something else to spur him on. It'll come soon. I hope.
And being hopeful, sometimes, does help. A bit.
i was with you @ 9:50 pm
what do u do when the whole world stand against you?
life's just like that. There're ups, and there're downs. And probably I'll say it's one of the times I find myself not being in the most desirable state currently.
of course you might say it's just so. Notr everything can be controlled and stuff. But then when you can't help but see what you always conceived and dreamt dissolving right before your eyes, the feeling of frustration and anger can't help but sets in.
And when all these just vanish before you, you know that you're just too much of a dreamer, and your reality is all part of something that might never come true.
i was with you @ 10:52 am
