Friday, August 17, 2007
a long journey has to end. someday.
my journey in NPCC has finally come to an end. wonderfully. looking back on all the days I had in NPCC, it really feels quite different now that I know it's all over. Not like Sec 4 when I alr made up my mind to come back, now it's really all over. As a cadet, as a cadet inspector, and finally, out of it as a post-inspector. I tink np has really shaped me in many ways, open me up to many opportunities, and allowed me to gain lots and lots of insights and learn what others might not have been able to. I am grateful. I am very grateful.
6 years in e corps was no easy feat. From being a cadet, to leading cadets, to finally leading cadet leaders, it was indeed delightful to see the changes over the years, the progress and the growth, both of me and of my cadets. Seeing the growth of the corps was e most intriguing. Participating in making a difference was the most interesting part of it. If i were to like live my this 6 years again, i guess np would still be the choice, and i would most likely still go down this path i have walked.
Old bonds, cherished friendships. I have made many good frens in np, from my squadmates, to my juniors and predecessors. These bonds are really strong and indeed a cherished part of me. Many hardships, many sweet memories now live on in my head, and it's indeed what I hold close to the heart.
To my squadmates/fellow CIs: Great job! and well done. I really thoroughly enjoyed being with you guys. You all simply rox. All the best!
To my dear juniors: Hope I have provided many insights an interesting experiences that really made a difference to your life in np. Especially like my predecessors, hope i have been inspiring enuf for u all to follow my path and maybe even do better than what i have done! and yes hope what i have shared is really useful to you guys. All the best. No worries. you can still get me online or like contact me whenever and for whatever stuff. I'll be here willing to listen! :)
And to all in HC NPCC (past, present): Thanks for making my journey the most delightful, joyous, enriching, and fulfilling experience. My np career comes to an end. but the bond will nv break.
Once in the Corps, always in the Corps.
i was with you @ 10:28 pm
Sunday, August 12, 2007
it's time.
ok i tink i more or less settled myself down today for work.... i sorta like sort out thinking, planned, and looked forward. so.... it's now or never. let's do a great job and not regret it yup!
Anw...
sorta thought it thru... no pt. seriously no pt in clinging on to the past. it's great memories though. but arhh oh well shouldn't be bothering me le. it should go. i shall move on. and everything shall be fine.
perhaps i am forcing myself in this way to tink that i have put it down. yes though it might not be e case... let's just say i wanna live in this thought for as long as i can bahhh.
mugging's becoming part and parcel of life. haha. oh no.
where the past should be. the past.
i was with you @ 10:08 pm
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Just let it pass.
haha i am sorry to change tone so fast... like today NDP and all... shouldn't feel sad. yup.
I shall learn to let it go and juz be free from all these for at least now. haha.
like i said.... mugging makes me emo sometimes. lolx. i dunno damn weird. probably juz e emptiness tat can fill me when mugging bahhhh... or cuz only then i seriously sit down and tink abt stuff... and many things juz appear as flashbacks... as clear but distinctly distant past events and memories. as some things i couldn't change. some things i couldn't get over. some things that i juz wanna hold on. some things that i juz have to noe i still share wif... probably it'll be e only things i've left frm then. frm that distant past. frm that memory. these flashbacks.
anw... oh my god prelims are coming so fast. okok i shall start to become intensive again.
stretch out my hand to try and hold on to tat memory slowly slipping away.
i was with you @ 10:57 pm
Happy National Day!!!!
Oh my S'pore 42 yrs old le. :) Haha.
It's e 3rd NDp after NDP04
Still missing NDP04. arhh oh well :P haha. guess i juz misses e old times. all e time.
U guys still rock. :)
Happy Birthday.
i was with you @ 10:00 am
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
feelings changes... over time.
sometimes i wonder. i still do.
Feeling kinda emotional as in like in both e gd way and bad way... for e gd... haha u can call it romantic... u can call it over-exhilaration of gd emotions.... but juz felt like.... i dunno....
some triggers ard. made me feel like e world's still quite cute. quite funny. quite weird.
arhh ok dunno how to express it.... really juz felt like some things i could have changed... and i still dunno e reason why some things juz din work out well.... it's nv meant to be i guess.
and my feelings izzit still the same?
Put it down and be myself i guess.
A weird expression.
i was with you @ 10:46 pm
Monday, August 06, 2007
Recurring thoughts.
Just thought I have to vent it out somewhere. Not to anyone I suppose. Arhhh angst. dunno why I just feel a bit angsty.... haha. it's like i dunno.... i juz feel a little bit of sadness and angst in me haha. felt it's better I let it out. somehow. to make me feel better. somehow.
Haha I found out I am a person who will live on past memories. Have been doing so for the past like days esp. maybe that's why I am angsty.... haha. perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. It's ok though. There's nothing bad abt living in e past, it's like how we face up to it and live wif it tat really matters so yea. guess I have to learn it well... especially since i am one very susceptible to such.... sadness that wells up.
Makes it feel right. I pray.
i was with you @ 10:37 pm
Sunday, August 05, 2007
haha i hereby declare that the war is on.
Arhh why are there still tests when it's like alr week 7? wahh totally no time la. needa study test then needa revise everything for prelims... really quite scary. and oh oh did i forget there's IS too... O.o
Anw.... today was so super sian. Like work work and more work. Alrite. It's really what life would be like for the rest of the yr all e way till a levels. oh my ok i have to live wif it. if i haven't been doing so that is. lolx.
life move on. oh no i getting a bit emo, cuz of all these work and stuff. Abit only. tiny bit. :(
i was with you @ 10:53 pm
Saturday, August 04, 2007
No doubt the end is still quite some time away.... but in sight from now.
A lot said. A lot done. Yes just like work. Have been busy clearing, resorting, tidying, and revising. Really quite a chore sometimes.
Each week seem to pass faster and faster. And yes it's approaching at this deadly pace I can feel my heart throbbing and breathing harder than b4... Really quite tensed... haha
Anw today was PSC PAE. Was quite fine. E maths was a bit... er.... and e others were ok. Been having this stupid stomach displeasure since thurs. haha. lucky it went off today. thx for all ur concerns. :)
Anw WE WON QUIZ COM! ok i must really congratulate my cadets on their excellent job. thanks for making us the champs. 4 times consecutive! Haha i wonder if 5 times they got any special awards or not. haha. and yayy we r finally getting a replica of the challenge trophy. :) Great job...
Haha yes at least they made me proud wif their performance and my hard work din go to waste. :) Really felt genuinely happy and glad abt it. Thanks for making all my work worthwhile. :) And u all also made ur own hard work worthwhile too! Well done guys. :)
Haha wada happy ending to my np career. :) Really glad it was a worthwhile experience, one i'll nv forget and hold close to my heart. POP's not here yet though! But yes thx for everything :)
Making it all worthwhile.
i was with you @ 9:56 pm